tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post362276377481396751..comments2023-10-04T07:16:32.683-04:00Comments on Kristin's Four Kids: First BornKristin....http://www.blogger.com/profile/04577486067704642675noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post-59184643317629202452009-06-14T15:52:22.884-04:002009-06-14T15:52:22.884-04:00This is tough. I have a 10 year old and an almost...This is tough. I have a 10 year old and an almost 8 year old. Before my children could even read we wrote down and posted house rules. It was easy to just point to the rule if it was being followed. In the beginning there were only one or two, no yelling, say please and thank you. Every year or so we tweak them a little bit, they are still simple but there are more of them (no yelling from another room, use your manners and my personal favorite everyone must follow the rules). We do them together so they are part of the process. Their friends know are house rules and if things get out of hand w/either my children or friends, we give reminders. My children usually show the friend the rule if it is their visit to our home. Things aren't perfect, but this system seems to help.<br /><br />(walk into any classroom pre-school through high school and you will see the rules of the class)<br /><br />hope this might help just a little bit.Jillnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post-8179498567040207412009-06-11T18:41:37.149-04:002009-06-11T18:41:37.149-04:00This might sound crazy and extreme, but my mom use...This might sound crazy and extreme, but my mom used to pull us out of public school for the year when/if she felt that things were getting out of hand at home. <br /><br />Mom felt that outside schooling could create a conflict with a child's home life and spiritual development, and her philosophy meant that homeschooling was her default; we had to *earn* the privilege of going to the comparatively glamorous local school district by showing her we could handle it gracefully.<br /><br />I tell people this now; they think it sounds crazy, but it worked. A child has a right to an education, but that's not the same as having a right to attend an outside school. <br /><br />To me, it sounds like your daughter thinks school is where "real life happens," whereas family life is merely a highly annoying distraction to be suffered through with as little effort as possible. <br /><br />Maybe it would be good to oblige her to learn to see her family members as Real People, too.goldilocksnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post-369542034229589572009-06-09T17:42:51.311-04:002009-06-09T17:42:51.311-04:00I think you should call her doctor and talk to her...I think you should call her doctor and talk to her/him about what's going on. It sounds to me like she's got something going on. Maybe school is helpful for her because it's quiet and very structured, and also because she's not relaxed enough there to feel safe in acting out her feelings. Just because she's not acting like that doesn't mean she's not feeling it on the inside. I once heard that the reason kids act out only/mostly at home is because they feel safe enough to do so. <br /><br />I feel so sad for you and your entire family. I think that you need to get help from someone before it's too late and your whole family is irreversably affected. You don't want to look back in twenty years and wish you'd reached out more or done something differently.Astartehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07337583910910454897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post-27981401312387999662009-06-09T10:03:31.479-04:002009-06-09T10:03:31.479-04:00I have no advice -- I wish I was there to give you...I have no advice -- I wish I was there to give you a great big hug (and babysit so you could get some time alone)!<br /><br />Does she treat Doug the same way or is it just you?Robynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06669859538951068032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post-40222694592035793362009-06-08T16:04:40.549-04:002009-06-08T16:04:40.549-04:00Send you a hug. I have nothing of real value to a...Send you a hug. I have nothing of real value to add but I am thinking about you.<br /><br />Maybe you could even video tape her....just thinking of the other comments. I bet if she saw her behavior she'd be pretty embarrassed - maybe enough to re-assess.Cass. Just Curioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10742141934876292994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post-83471782587030661222009-06-05T13:55:21.442-04:002009-06-05T13:55:21.442-04:00Bud is like this to an extent. When he doesn’t ge...Bud is like this to an extent. When he doesn’t get his way, he broods, and lashes out and is miserable. Our tactic is to remove him from the situation. If we are in a restaurant or at a party, we will take him to sit in the car for a while. Quiet time seems to work for him.<br /><br />It must be hard on you Kristin. ((HUGS))Salyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13792107257082868851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post-32415110586085890982009-06-05T12:09:12.378-04:002009-06-05T12:09:12.378-04:00Oh Kristin. That must be so hard. I don't reme...Oh Kristin. That must be so hard. I don't remember who told me this, but someone was having issues with their kids like this and they made them watch that Nanny 911 show whenever it was on, so they could see kids acting the way they do from a different perspective. I know there are issues with her and TV, but maybe if she saw her behavior reflected in someone else and how it makes the parents feel it might have an impact. Just a thought...Jillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15835303750336050596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post-90755490559639723812009-06-05T10:15:48.179-04:002009-06-05T10:15:48.179-04:00I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I c...I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I can't imagine how tough it must be.AndreAnnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12102680027953333309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post-34628285647607417572009-06-05T09:51:10.429-04:002009-06-05T09:51:10.429-04:00I just thought of something that did work for us. ...I just thought of something that did work for us. We were on a weekend vacation and she was acting horribly, making everyone else miserable. Once she was in a calmer place, I took her aside for a talk. I told her that she was part of our family and that the kind of behaviour she was exhibiting was not allowed. Just.not.allowed. I reminded her that she was able to control her mood at school and she needed to think about what the difference was between home and school. There was more to it than that, but I pulled out the "not allowed" line whenever I noticed her starting to get into one of her moods and she seemed to be able to calm herself down.LoriDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07646658618955664778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post-4482553881514321702009-06-05T09:49:41.518-04:002009-06-05T09:49:41.518-04:00Kristin,
You are describing Kaitlin. Sorry it...Kristin,<br /> You are describing Kaitlin. Sorry it's so tough, we are/have been in the midst of counceling for years. It didn't work the first time, but now that it is carrying over to the other two we are trying again. We have also started medecine. Been a long tough road getting to this point. Chris is serverly depressed, mostly because of his sister. Kaitlin was diagnosed with OCD. Meds have helped Chris, but not Kaitlin yet. Wish I could help you more, I know how much you love her, and I understand<br />Love,<br />TracyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3486169617395091403.post-471430706590222572009-06-05T09:45:11.597-04:002009-06-05T09:45:11.597-04:00The fact that she doesn't behave this way at s...The fact that she doesn't behave this way at school is a good thing. It means she knows how to control herself, but she just chooses not to when she's at home.<br /><br />I have had waves of this kind of behaviour with my oldest, but thankfully it passes (after much yelling, punishment and many, many tears). I have no real advice, just empathy. Hang in there.LoriDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07646658618955664778noreply@blogger.com