The Dilemma

I have a dilemma and I'm asking for some advice, because quite honestly, I have no idea what to do.

Meg's 9th birthday is 3 weeks from tomorrow. This is the year I promised another kid party (every other year to save my sanity), and we've been throwing around ideas. We've come up with one that would work~have some friends over to watch a movie and make their own pizzas. Nothing too jazzy, but still fun for everyone and not too expensive for my rather tight purse strings.

But the issue is my child. My beautiful, smart child isn't very good with friends, especially at parties. She has had a meltdown at every single kid party she's ever had. It's rather easy to pass that off when your kid is 5, and maybe even 7. But 9. Nine is an age where kids start to talk at school, if they haven't already. I dread putting her into a situation which could cause embarrassment for her. We don't even have her friends over except one because she cannot handle the situation and ends up alienating her friends.

I wouldn't at all be concerned if she hadn't had a full on meltdown during Drew's family birthday party last week. Her behavior was so incredibly embarrassing for all of us, most especially for herself. The five of us are quite used to her attention-getting meltdowns, to the point that it didn't even phase Drew and he went about his business. My poor sister-in-law (who is a 4th grade teacher) ended up spending a lot of time dealing with Meg, but really no to avail. Meg did manage to behave well enough at Drew's kid party last week, and we praised her for that.

I love my child with all my heart, and I want to do things for her that make her happy. She wants this birthday party. I would love for her to have her friends here and for her to have a good time with them. Is it wrong of me to question whether she could handle herself? I've been down this road too many times with her and I'm at the point where I think that I need to save her from herself. Talking to her is almost a wasted effort. She gets defensive, cries, and doesn't listen. Round and round we go.

So dear friends. Help. Give me some advice. Should I have the party and let her deal with the consequences of her actions if she melts down, or should I just pull the plug?

Sights and Sounds

I sit at my messy computer desk watching the drip, drip, drip from my farmers porch.

I hear the kids sliding down the stairs on their bottoms chattering away.

I utter phrases like "please don't step on the book/puzzle/cat" and "please clean up all the crayons you just dumped on the floor".

I watch my cats sit in the window sill chattering at the ever growing population of ladybugs in the bathroom.

I look at all the snow and the trees that surround my home.

I hear that the dishwasher is done, again.

I hear requests for more snack, more juice, fresh pullup.

I see a large bag of items needing to be shredded, and yet another box of items to go to the dump.

Thump, thump, thump go the small feet of small girls running up and down the hallway above me.

Drip, drip, drip goes the melting snow outside my window.

Chatter, chatter, chatter from my son.

The day may change but the sights and sounds of my life remain constant.

Resolved

I don't make New Year's Resolutions. The list would be alarmingly long and daunting. There are some days that I can barely manage to feed the kids meals and snacks what with all the fighting and bickering and toys to clean up, so adding one more thing to my "to do" list would put me over the edge and drinking by 9.

However, this year I have resolved to take better care of ME. ME ME ME. Right before 2009 ended I went out TWO DAYS IN A ROW with friends, once for dinner and to see New Moon, and once for lunch and a little shopping at Target and I have to say I was so blissfully happy to be Kristin for those short periods of time. Not Doug's wife or the Mama, but just ME. A me who likes movies and food and friends and books and good lord so many things that I just don't get to do. I know I chose this life~one with a passel of kids with commitments, homework, potty training, etc.~but I also know that eventually those kids will grow up and move onto their own lives and I need to have some of ME around so I'm not a lost wandering soul when that happens.

So, it's resolved that I'm going to take more time for me. I'm not sure yet exactly how that's all going to play out, but I know that I have to do it for myself and my sanity and probably even my marriage. I'm not a good wife or mother if I'm a tired, cranky "woe is me" bitch all the time. A little battery recharge now and then to remember who I was and who I want to be is on tap for 2010.

What about you? One resolution you want to share?

Babies no more

The end of 2009 also marked the end of me being a mother of babies. The girls are in the throes of potty training; some days are good and some days, like when Annie stands 2 feet from the toilet and pees all over the floor, are bad. Training two simultaneously is completely exhausting and I am so darn glad that I've already gone through this with two other children because I'd lose my ever loving mind otherwise.

We also took down the girls' cribs last week. We had one toddler bed and acquired another for $10 on Craigslist just before Christmas. My doctor had told me to take them out of their cribs after the Izzie incident but quite honestly, you couldn't pay me enough money to take not-yet two year olds out of their cribs. As it is, the girls are at this very moment upstairs for a nap that they ASKED to take and are jumping around and tearing apart their room. The thought of having still 1 year olds out of cribs was enough to make my hair stand on end and I'm not even totally happy with my almost 3 year olds out of their cribs. BUT, I have to give them credit, because once they go to bed at night, they fall right asleep and stay asleep and in their beds until they wake up in the morning (where they immediately get up, bang around and wake everyone else up).

Ahem.

I have babies no more. They will be THREE in twelve days and that thought is amazing to me. I don't have any pangs for more children; the four that I have keep me plenty busy and rather exhausted most of the time. I don't even miss the babyhood of the twins. While they might make me crazy with their hair pulling/face scratching fights, they are quite fun at this age. They color in their coloring books, they give fantastic hugs, they oftentimes play together nicely. They do puzzles, dress themselves entirely, sing the ABCs, giggle together, share a chair to watch Dora or Max and Ruby.

So while I no longer have babies and I'm ok with that, I have big girls who are in need of some attention to be reminded why we don't jump on our toddler beds. Ah motherhood.

Five

Dear Drew,

It's been five years since you came into this world, full of vim and vigor. I mean really, you were almost born without the doctor because you just couldn't wait to let everyone know you were here!

You are my little snuggle puppy. You proudly hold my hand, hug and kiss me and still want me to read to you. You love cars, trucks, construction vehicles, dogs, pirates, cats, hockey, Batman and books. Thank you for being so well rounded!

I hope you'll always remember to love your sisters, no matter how much they annoy you and wreck your block towers. I know it's hard to be the middle kid, surrounded by girls. They really do love you, even if they have a hard time showing it.

We love you so much and hope you have a wonderful 5th birthday.

Love, Mama and Daddy

December 28, 2004

December 28, 2005

December 28, 2006

December 28, 2007

December 28, 2008

(well, close enough. December 23, 2009)

I've lost that Christmas feeling

I've started to lose my Christmas cheer. Maybe it's because we've been listening to Christmas music since mid-November (yeah, not smart on my part at all). Maybe it's because the kids are bickering all damn day long and nothing I do gets them to stop. Maybe it's because to wrap Christmas presents I have to go into our frigid unfinished basement at night and quite frankly, I'm just too tired and I despise being cold. Maybe it's because Doug's Christmas vacation doesn't start until the 24th and I don't even get a vacation. Maybe it's because with all that we have to do, it stinks that Doug isn't home at all tonight as Meg has hockey and then HE has hockey and I've got kids by myself for 12 hours straight and no time to make Christmas cookies or wrap presents or even go pee without someone needing me.

But I'm going to suck it up and go about my business as I always do. There's laundry to be washed, dried and maybe even folded and possibly put away. There are snacks to be given, girls to potty train and little boys to kiss. There are books to read, a house to clean and Christmas cheer to be found. I think I'll start with some Christmas music.

Holiday Meme

I am totally stealing this from Swistle and Jess because my mind is mush from all the holiday cheer. Here goes.

Eggnog or hot chocolate? I love hot chocolate. And if I'm going to have eggnog, I have tiny little glasses of Hood Eggnog. I've never had it with the alcohol in it.

Does Santa wrap the presents or leave them open under the tree? Santa wraps presents in special Santa paper, and some gifts end up in the stockings, and then the larger gifts are placed under the tree. For the last few years Santa used the same special wrap but started to believe that Meg was going to figure that one out so switched to new wrap this year.

Colored lights on a tree or white? Ok, this a sore spot for me. I grew up with colored lights, then my parents switched to white, which I much prefer. However, Doug only likes colored lights. So, I relented with one condition~I have white lights outside. The kids like the colored lights so I can deal with it.

Do you hang mistletoe? No.

When do you put your decorations up? It has all depended on my pregnancies (I mean, really, I was pregnant at Christmas in 2000, 2004 and 2006). This year we put up our tree early, so that we've been enjoying it for almost 3 weeks now.

What is your favorite holiday dish? I don't have a favorite dish. I love Christmas cookies.

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We usually give the kids one gift to open on Christmas Eve (jammies) but that isn't happening this year as Meg and Drew still have their jammies from last year and quite frankly I'm behind the eight ball on this one.

How do you decorate your Christmas tree? It's a mish mash of ornaments that belong to me, Doug and the kids. We have some of the ornaments the kids have made at school, ornaments they've received, plus others that we've gotten over the years. We have a Winter Warlock at the top of our tree (that's what he totally looks like too!).

Snow: love it or hate it? Yeah, I live in Maine. I either love it or move.

Can you ice skate? You'd think being the wife of a hockey player and coach and the mother of two hockey players that I could skate, but you'd be so wrong. I lack grace. Enough said.

What is your favorite holiday dessert? Besides Christmas cookies, my mother-in-law makes a great Christmas cake (and if you want the recipe email me because it's so darn easy!).

What is your favorite holiday tradition? We like to take the kids to look at the Christmas lights around the neighborhoods. There is one neighborhood in the next town over that the neighbors must be in cahoots to compete for the biggest, loudest and brightest displays, and the kids love it.

Candy canes: yum or yuck? Yum, but within reason.

Favorite Christmas show? Charlie Brown Christmas and The Grinch (original cartoon version).

So, what about you? Want to play along?