Eye Opening

It's the first full day of summer vacation. The weather over the weekend was iffy~gray, humid, not incredibly warm, rainy at times. That weather has carried over into today as well, so the kids have pretty much been inside instead of outside playing.

Over the weekend I was kind of caught up in trying to figure out where Meg's friend O lives, so that we can send her the photo that I took of them on the last day of school (courtesy of the bus driver who let O and another friend A get off the bus at our driveway for the shot) and also so we can invite her to come over. It was a little bit obsessive on my part, and I couldn't figure out until today why I was so focused on getting these girls connected for the summer.

But while Meg and I were making oatmeal raisin cookies, it occurred to me that she spends the majority of her time at school, being a big girl, and then comes home to a 5 year old and two 3 year olds, and very rarely gets to spend down time with kids her own age. And my heart hurt for her, because when I was a kid I spent all my time with kids my own age because my neighborhood was filled with my friends. We don't live in a neighborhood. We live on a long gravel road with one neighbor who has a 9 month old, in a town where everything is very spread out. It's not the childhood of my youth, and I wish that it was, for her sake. I wish she could get on her bike and ride to a friend's house and play and be a big girl and not have her siblings be her only playmate all the time. It must be so hard for her to switch from big kid to little girl every day in order to be on the same level as Drew, Annie and Izzie.

So I'm going to endeavor to spend more time trying to focus on her and what she likes, instead of forcing the four of them to play together all the time. We spent some time this afternoon playing with her American Girl dolls, something she's never asked me to do before. We cuddled on the couch and read our book, which is something we usually save for bedtime. I'm going to try to give her space to just be herself this summer and try to get her together with some of her friends from school so that she can remember that she is a big kid all the time, not just during the school day.

Endings

Today is Meg's last day of 3rd grade. In just a couple of months she'll be entering her last year of elementary school, as our district sends the 5th graders to the middle school. Given the choice, Meg would attend school year round. She prefers a schedule, not the laid back attitude of summer vacation. She likes being with her peers, going to music class and gym, having lunch in the cafeteria, riding the bus home with friends. She is a very good student, strong in reading, spelling, writing, music. Maybe she'll be a teacher one day.

She made a friend on the bus this year, a little girl O, who is in 4th grade and new to our little town. They were thick as thieves, sitting together all the time, their brown and red heads bent together as they scribbled notes, shared marbles and waved crazily at me when the bus arrived each afternoon. O is going to 5th grade in the fall, which means she'll be on the earlier bus and not with Meg. Watching my girl sob in her room this morning because she'll miss her friend was just about more than I could handle today. I hate endings. My heart hurts for Meg, because she doesn't make friends easily and knowing that it will be a year before the girls will really see each other again makes me so sad for her. I'm going to do my best to find a way to get the girls together this summer so they can spend time together, but I don't know O's parents, so that could be hard.

I'm glad that Meg had a chance to make such a nice friend. She was always so much happier on the days that she and O sat together. I hope that they will be able to spend time together and grow up as friends. Nothing would make me happier, and that would erase the sad ending we're having today.

I get by with a little help from my friends

I often lament to Doug that I hate living so far away from my friends. I left Maine to get away and spent seven years making new friends in New York and Boston, only to return to Maine to settle down and raise a family. It was especially hard leaving my college friends; there are some I haven't seen in 15 years. But everyone makes their choices and friendships either thrive or fade away.

Writing this blog for the last year and half has changed how I view friendships. While I may not always throw out everything that is going on in my life onto my blog, I can email those people who I hold close to me and vent/chat/commiserate. I trust that I can tell them what's going on without judgment. They aren't just people who leave a note on my blog; they are true friends.

Today my phone rang and because it was loud and insane here, I let it go to the machine. I was surprised to hear Cass's voice on my machine. When things settled down I dropped her a note and my phone rang almost instantly. She made me promise not to hate her and asked if I had left an Anonymous comment on AndreAnna's blog today. I said no but that I had just read the latest post but none of the comments yet. So I read the anonymous comment. It was sad and scary and I could totally see why she could have thought it was me. She was concerned enough to track Doug down (you need to be a PI Cass!) to make sure that he didn't think it was me either. Then I emailed AndreAnna to let her know that I didn't leave the comment. I think I heard her sigh with relief all the way from the Jersey shore.

I am truly blessed with wonderful friends. Friends concerned enough with my health and well-being to make sure that I'm not putting up a front on my blog about how I'm doing. Friends who would be willing to get in their cars and drive for hours to help me if I needed help. Cass's phone call really showed me that friendship can span miles, years, even the internet. There is something truly comforting in knowing that.

Friendship Part Deux

I have a daily calendar that sits by my desk. Friday's quote said "true life is lived when tiny changes occur". I couldn't agree more.

On Friday morning I kissed my wonderful husband and kids goodbye and hopped in my mommy mobile (aka my Ford Freestar) and headed west to New York. After a 6 hour drive I arrived at the doorstep of my dear friend Auntie Nettie for a much overdue visit. Our visit, while much too brief, was exactly what I needed. Old friends are truly the best. She has since been tagged to make a visit to Maine, and I'm holding her to it.

Yesterday I met AndreAnna, Cass and Robyn. We've been reading each other's blogs and emailing and to meet in person was truly exceptional. We ate, we drank, we talked, and it was like we'd been friends for years. I am not nearly as outgoing a person as I come across in this blog, so for me to travel to Jersey to meet these women was a huge step. My true life was lived this weekend. I can't wait to see them again and I am hoping it will happen sooner rather than later. Summer in Maine is a lovely time of year if I do say so myself.

Robyn, me, AndreAnna, Cass

Thank you to my friends old and new for a great weekend. I miss you all already.

I've got friends in high places

Well, just friends in the blogosphere actually.

Check out my new blog design. I LOVE it. Cass from Cass Just Curious designed it for me. I couldn't be happier.

Thank you Cass! You're wonderful! I'll give you big hugs on Saturday!

Friendship

Friendship: The state of being a friend; a friendly relation or intimacy; friendly feeling or disposition.

In my last post I talked about getting in touch with my old college roommate via Facebook. On Wednesday, she called me after we emailed back and forth several times. She now lives in Sweden, with her four children (three girls and a boy, just like me). I think it's been easily 10 years since we have spoken on the phone. I have moved numerous times since leaving college and so has she. She knew of the birth of Meg and Drew, but for some reason I never sent an announcement about the twins, or if I did, it never arrived. Talking with her on the phone for an hour and a half was probably the nicest thing I've done for myself in a long time. We laughed so hard, talking about our kids and our lives, and remembering some of the silliness of college. We talked about where some of our mutual friends are and of those that fell off the face of the earth. For me it was like all those years just melted away and it had only been a short time since we'd been in touch. Our friendship is so precious and I'm thrilled we have rekindled it.

In a few short weeks, I'll be meeting some new friends. I'm heading to New York City and New Jersey for a girls weekend. My first stop will be NYC and I'm so happy to be visiting with my oldest friend, Auntie Nettie. It's been a ridiculous FIVE YEARS since we've seen each other and I can't wait to spend some time with her. It certainly won't be enough and we'll have to get together again sooner rather than later (cough cough Nettie, you're tagged for a trip northward), but I am loving my husband for offering to take the kids for extra time so I can go stay with her.

The second leg of my trip is to New Jersey to meet some brand new friends: AndreAnna, Cass, Kellie and Robyn. AndreAnna invited us all to meet for the first time to celebrate her birthday. I was so thrilled to be invited that I immediately told Doug was I going without even thinking that I DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE!?!?!? But after some thought, I realized that I do know them, just in a different way. We write our blogs, comment on each other's blogs, email or IM each other, pretty much daily. We found that we connect on so many different levels. We're friends. It doesn't matter that we met thru blogs. What does matter is that we became friends. We entrust each other with our thoughts and feelings. We're there for each other when we're up or down. If that isn't real friendship, then I don't know what is. I'm excited and nervous for the trip. It will be like a first date for us all~what to wear, how to act, will they like me in person. But it's also thrilling. I love putting a face to a voice, even if it's a written voice. I love having friends.