Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Updates, Updates, Updates

It's been a lousy few days here, with the kids succumbing to some sort of a quick flu virus. My plans with friends here at the house on Saturday had to be canceled as Meg was up all night vomiting. We thought the other kids were spared, but Sunday night at 11:15 Izzie got up to be sick, and Annie joined her at 4 am. Drew joined the party today. It's a very short virus, which is nice, but enough already. We've already had the flu, swine or not, plus Meg and I had strep throat. I'm quite done with this winter, thank you very much.

Meg's birthday is Saturday. She is NOT having a friend party, save her one good friend B who is coming over for the family party. After all my deliberating, she really could have cared less about what we did. At that, I'm a little dumbstruck. She was the one who went on and on about wanting her friends to come to a party, then when I told her that it wasn't happening, she didn't really care. We had a "discussion" (which means that I talked, she ignored me, and life went on) about how her inability to control her attitude and behavior was the reason for not inviting friends over, and she just blew me off. So, family party it is on Saturday, complete with a heart-shaped cake.

Potty training is NOT going well. Considering that I've already potty trained two kids, you think I'd be able to work with the girls, but quite frankly, they chose to do their own thing. Izzie does a much better job than Annie, who is perfectly content to pee in her pull-up or diaper. I think that I'm going to have to resort to plain old undies and lots of clothing changes to get them to pay attention. This method disturbs me to no end (whatever the hell that means) as I already do enough laundry, but I'm kind of at a loss otherwise.

The girls are doing great sleeping in their toddler beds. They no longer nap, unless we go somewhere in the car. If they nap in the car though, they won't go to sleep at night. Double edged sword. Oh, and when they're done sleeping in the morning (even if it's 5), they get up, tear all the bedding off their beds, yell, scream and play in their closet, waking up the whole house. Frustrated isn't even the best word to describe how I feel about this. There is no way of getting them to understand that they need to stay in their bed; they just DO NOT LISTEN.

Anyone have any ideas on how to get my loving 5 year old son back? He's been replaced by a foul-mouthed (as in, I HATE YOU MOMMY), whining, crying monster. He throws toys, screams and throws himself to the ground all damn day long. When he's in a good mood he's loving, kind, plays nicely with everyone, but then WHAM he gets nasty. Of course since that's how his older sister acts ALL the time, it's hard for him to learn otherwise.

Lately I've been wishing myself away from all of the crap of raising my kids. I mentally (and sadly, sometimes verbally) lament having to change diapers, do laundry, make lunches/snack/dinner, clean cat boxes. I feel overwhelmed and under loved. I literally want to throw myself on the floor, kick my feet and scream that I don't wanna do it. How awful is that? So then I beat myself up for feeling angry with THEM, when it's not their fault. They're just kids after all, and I would do well to remember that.

What do you do when you're feeling overwhelmed?


Anonymous said...

Damn, girl. You've got a TON of not so pleasant things kicking you in the spleen.

When I get overwhelmed (and sadly, *my* idea of overwhelmed is probably nothing compared to your's.), I get out. Whether I go for a drive or to a friend's or wander around a store. If getting out isn't possible, I lock myself in my bedroom. Sometimes, I'll go through dressers or closets or the bathroom vanity. Sometimes, I'll watch tv or read. And others, I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling.

I can't even IMAGINE how you feel and I'm so sorry.

Brooke Brown said...

Oy. You are in the midst of way too many mentally challenging things at the same time. Coffee from the McDonalds drive-thru is a serious pick-me-up. They put in the cream & sugar in for you, so it tastes awesome right away. And, something about talk radio -- even for just 5 minutes -- relaxes me (cue Terry Gross/NPR). But, I think the biggest release is yoga. The poses are too darn difficult to focus on anything else -- so you can't help but step away from your life for an hour. And - all that stretching leaves you feeling like you've had a massage. When I was potty training Miles (who was still having accidents at age 4!) I went every Sunday afternoon. :)

Robyn said...

Honestly, I have a good cry (usually in the shower where no one can see or hear). Then, I pull myself together and start getting things done. Even if they are small things, it seems to get me back on track.

Also, getting out of the house tends to help. You'd be surprised what an hour, by yourself, at a bookstore with a cup of coffee can do for you.

I wish I was there, my friend. And, I am totally feeling your pain in the potty department!

Saly said...

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Maybe you can find some time just for you? Can't wait to see your heart shaped cake...I love seeing your cakes.

Thia said...

Hugs. I haven't figured out how to deal yet. And when I do find something that works, it is a guarantee that it won't work next time. I hope the bug passes quickly for you.
I am glad that you were able to solve thebirthday party question without much hassle! That's a good thing!

Astarte said...

I'm so sorry it's such a rough patch right now!!!!!!! It's not a great time of year to get out of a bad mental place, either.

I *have* sat down and had tantrums, when my kids have had one. I copied their actions, but whined about what I was upset about, essentially that so-and-so was hurting my feelings, and I didn't like the food, etc, and it shocked the crap out of them!! They both would actually stop freaking out and stare at me, and then burst out laughing.

I would also put myself in time out. I realized that putting them in time out wasn't great, because what they really wanted was my attention, and they wouldn't stay in time-out anyway, so I would announce that I no longer wanted to be with them because of whatever, and go into the bathroom for about five minutes. I had a book in there, and I would totally ignore whoever was having a tantrum outside the door. Other than that, alcohol? For you, probably not them. A self-cleaning cat box? I hear they're great. That would at least be one gross chore down, I guess.

I can't believe she didn't care about the party. Kids are WEIRD. Maybe deep down she didn't really want one, either, but was feeling like she *should* want to have one?