Where exactly did the time go?

Dear Meg,

Today is your 8th birthday. I cannot believe that you're 8 years old already. Your birth can't have been 8 years ago; it was just yesterday that you opted to wait until your due date to make your appearance. To this day you despise being late.

I know we have our issues. It's not surprising given that you are so much like me. You love to read and I'm so happy that we share that trait. You're stubborn too; I'd like to blame Dad for that but I'm pretty sure that's my doing as well. I'm happy that you got Dad's love of sports though. Maybe in a couple of years I can teach you to play the piano, or you can take up the flute, just like me.

Don't always be so hard on yourself. Remember, all we ask is that you try your best at things. That does NOT mean be perfect. It just means quality work, or trying your hardest when you're out skating. When we give advice, take it. It doesn't always mean that we're criticizing. Sometimes we actually want to be helpful in order to make you happy.

So baby girl, enjoy your hockey scrimmage tonight. Tomorrow we'll celebrate with cake and presents. Know that we love you so very, very much.

Love, Mama

No really, I hate titles

There is nothing like my children playing nicely, or getting along. It's almost magical when it happens, and it allows me a moment to watch them and observe.

Right now, Annie and Izzie are taking turning jumping off a small basket. They're talking back and forth about jumping. They both insisted that I put ponies in their hair, and they're wearing matching outfits. When they're not getting into all sorts of mischief, they play quite well together. Now that they're both talking so much, it's fun to listen to them because they sound so different. Izzie has a higher pitched voice than Annie, and she pronounces her words a bit better. She also whines more when she wants Annie to stop something, or doesn't get her way. They may be twins, but there's not much about them that is similar.

Yesterday the refused to take a nap. The very last time I went up to their room to check on them, they were diaperless, so I changed them and got them up. Meg and Drew were watching Cars on DVD so the girls puttered around until the movie was over and the living room was big-kid free. Izzie climbed up into my lap and fell asleep. She hasn't done that in a long time. Meg and Drew came downstairs for something and were so in awe of Izzie sleeping that Meg covered her with a blanket, and Drew gave her sweet kisses. It's moments like these that remind me why I wanted kids in the first place. Their little acts of kindness can be so darn adorable.

Of course if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know that Izzie woke up from that little nap, barfed all over me (THREE times) and then went to bed. Amazing how barf can ruin a perfectly good moment.

Open Letters (edited)

Dear State of Maine Lawmakers:

Please, for the love of cookies, do NOT cut the school day to a 4 day week to save money. Study hard before you make this decision. While I'm thrilled that you're not considering making a 4 day week mandatory, the whole idea is awful to a parent of a 2nd grader who loves going to school more than anything in the world. I can barely explain to her why she has to stay home on a snow day, let alone the thought of explaining to her that in these tough times, her beloved State wants to take away school from her. While she thinks that being home with me is awful, imagine those kids who'd have to spend a day in daycare if their parents could afford the cost, because the politicians have their heads up their ()$*#( and think that eliminating an entire day of school would make a huge difference. Think long and hard on this one State of Maine Lawmakers; I'll be watching you.

Sincerely, Mama to a 2nd grader

***

Dear Megan,

I am not a mean Mama. Creating rules and order in our house is not an attempt to piss you off; it's an attempt to stop all the yelling I have to do day in and day out because you DO NOT LISTEN to me. You are the oldest, and trust me, it's no fun, but when I ask you to set a good example for your brother and sisters, I mean it. I do not mean that you have to be perfect, but I would love, love, love for you to do ONE DAMN thing that I ask of you and do it consistently. You're going to be 8 years old in a few days, and it's about time that you stop telling me that you "don't know why" you always act up and get it together kiddo. You're so well behaved in school, but when you get home you ignore me and Dad, and you run up and down the halls, you yell, you throw toys. This is NOT the behavior of an 8 year old; this is how Annie and Izzie act. Trust me, I do NOT enjoy parenting 4 kids who act like they're all 2. I would rather eat razors than yell all the time, so please stop acting up and be good.

Love, your very tired and frazzled Mama

***

Dear Annie and Izzie,

Where to begin? First and foremost, the gates that keep you off the stairs and out of the computer room are there for a REASON. They are not there for you to push aside in order to get into said computer room or up said stairs; frankly, we've had enough broken bones for a lifetime and I don't want you getting hurt. Secondly, throwing toys is NOT an acceptable form of play. I don't think I need to explain that any further, do I? Third, and most important, is that we have an established naptime for a reason. Please use that time wisely, instead of stripping off your clothes and/or diapers, throwing your blankets and stuffed friends out of bed, and NAP for crying out loud. This "let's take an hour and a half of settling down before we nap for maybe an hour" is turning your once loving Mama into a crazy woman. Cut the crap.

Love, your very tired and frazzled Mama

***

Dear Drew,

Thank you for helping me with the laundry. As I type, you're sweeping the kitchen just because. And I appreciate that so much. But please, clean up your room so I don't kill myself on a car/Batman/pirate/book/stuffed friend. And please stop picking up the cats while they're sleeping. The constant scratches on your face/hands/arms are a sure sign that they don't like it. While you're at it, stop fighting with Megan. I know you love her more than the moon and stars, so instead of antagonizing her, go read a book or color or PICK UP YOUR ROOM.

Love, your very tired and frazzled Mama

***

Dear Mother Nature,

Are you fricking kidding me? Another storm? With another foot or more of snow? Get over yourself. Yes, we all know that it's winter and you love to make snow. But come on and give me a break. Paying my plow guy is going to break the bank again this winter.

Sincerely, Kristin

****

Dear Doug,

If it snows tomorrow, please consider working from home (see above letter). I am almost certain that one more day with all four children stuck inside will send me over the edge. Need I say more?

Love, your very tired and frazzled wife

***
(Edit)
Dear American Girl,

Why on this great earth should I pay an extra $19.95 for quicker shipping? Are you kidding me? All I want is my kid's birthday present from her grandparents to arrive by Friday. I should not have to pay $19.95 extra for that. And if you're going to send out my product at $7.95 shipping and allow me to track it on UPS, please give a delivery date, ok?

Sincerely, Mama to a soon-to-be-sad birthday girl if her present isn't here on time

Ugh, I hate titles

Have you ever watched Jeff Dunham? He is a ventriloquist. Google him if you've never heard of him. He is fantastic. One of his puppets is named Walter. Walter is a crotchety old man who hates his wife. I'm starting to feel like I've become Walter.

Holy shit have I been CRANKY. My posts are all whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch. Now, yes, I am in MAINE, in the dead of WINTER, with four children, so I suppose I'm allowed a wee bit of venting. But all the time? Umm, no, that is not a good way to win friends and influence people. So, I apologize if my constant bitching is a turnoff.

I had some friends over to scrapbook yesterday and it was so much fun. I laughed. I drank coffee. I even put a few pictures in my Christmas album. My friend Emily and I were talking about The Mentalist (on CBS, 9pm Tuesdays) and how HOT HOT HOT Simon Baker is (Cass, you know what I'm talking about). It was so nice to just sit and chat with friends that I wish I could do it more often.

This Friday my baby girl is turning 8. Hard to believe it's been 8 years since she was born. She gets the honor of my last special cake of the winter, a butterfly. We gave her the option of skipping hockey practice Friday night to celebrate on her birthday, or go to hockey and celebrate on Saturday. She's going to hockey Friday night and we're celebrating with family on Saturday.

So, I'm hoping this week brings more smiles and less bitching. I would love to rid myself of the black cloud I feel following me around all the time. Anyone have ideas for how I can get rid of it?

Things I don't do

As a mom of four under age 8, there are lots of things I simply cannot do during the course of the day. Since I've been thinking about them, I'm just going to throw them all out there. Here goes:

1) I cannot run out for milk or diapers if I need them. Rite Aid is just down the road, but I have at least 2 kids with me at all times. I cannot just hop in the car and go get milk or diapers. I have to email my husband and ask him to pick them up on his way home from work.

2) I cannot go shopping. Period. The twins hate being strapped up in their stroller for more than a milisecond, the mall is 20 minutes away, and we only have Wal-Mart around.

3) I cannot talk on the phone. There is always a screaming child in the background. Always.

4) I cannot go to the bathroom alone. Annie and Izzie follow me saying "watch you, mama?". While that's adorable, I don't think it's going to encourage them to potty train any earlier.

5) I cannot tidy up my house. Oh please. As I put things away, I have many children right behind me dumping them all back out.

6) I cannot read Breaking Dawn. The noise level in the house at all times resembles an airport runway. But dammit I want to read that book!

7) I cannot watch daytime tv. Not that I want to, but I never have the tv on during the day unless Drew is watching Word World.

8) I cannot get laundry all put away. The only time I can get upstairs to do the laundry is when the girls are napping. And it's THEIR laundry that needs to be folded and put away. Do you see the conundrum?

What things can't you do when the kids are awake?

It's NOT coming up roses

I'm listening to the kids (yes, all four of them) run around and yell in the background and figured that instead of yelling at them to shut up for the love of cookies, I'd do something "productive" and blog. Yeah, my life is all roses, all the time.

In the last week, I've baked two cakes, watched my babies turn two, surprised my in-laws with a 50th wedding anniversary party, dealt with 14 inches of snow, taken the twins to the doctor for their 2 year checkup, eaten lots of cake, washed a bazillion loads of laundry, folded and put away some of that laundry, put kids in time out, been hit in the face by hands/toys, been yelled at, yelled at my kids, cried, watched four back-to-back episodes of CSI in one sitting, been circumvented by my kids every time I clean up their toys, taken away ALL the wooden puzzles, listened to all of my kids cry sometimes simultaneously, pondered running away, cried, had at least one Captain Morgans and ginger ale, and eaten an entire bag of Hershey's Hugs in pretty much a couple of hours.

So, what have YOU been up to?

2009 Valentine's Day Goody Swap (Edited)

I know times are tough for lots of people and spending money can cause the pocketbook to scream. I'm one of those people but I decided to have a little fun for Valentine's Day and I'm joining the 2009 Valentine's Day Goody Swap over at An Island Life. Here's a little button that you can add to your blog if you decide to join:


Go to the website to read all the rules and sign up to participate if it sounds like fun. I like getting something other than bills in the mail and that's why I signed up!

I am answering the following questions so that my swap buddy can get to know me better:

• What is your idea of a romantic Valentine’s Day? A nice quiet dinner at our favorite restaurant. A HOT dinner. Without kids.
  
• In reality, what is your Valentine’s Day really like? We have 4 kids; they take priority, even on Valentine's Day.
  
• If you could have a lifetime supply of your favorite sweet indulgence, what would it be? 3 Musketeers or Lindt chocolate
  
• Is there any sweet treat you absolutely do not like? Red Hots. Oooh, and no coconut.
  
• If you fell into a pool of chocolate, how would you get out? I wouldn't want to get out; would you?