Thursday, August 14, 2008

Mom Gone Mad?

I am sitting at my kitchen table using my piece of junk laptop. The ONLY sounds are the twins having lunch, and the click click of my fingernails on the keyboard. My older kids have gone for a playdate/sleepover with my in-laws. So riddle me this~why do I feel sort of sad that they're gone? I KNOW, right? Usually I'm bitching because they are too loud/messy/rude, but the minute they're gone, I miss them. And that my friends is the dichotomy of being a parent.

I am sure you're nodding your head in agreement, right? RIGHT? I am sure I'm not the only one who has days when you want to duct tape your children to the wall and chloroform them just for a moment's peace (or am I really the only one? Please don't call CDS if I am, thanks). And then your kids are gone, either to school or a playdate or something else, and you miss them like mad and want them home again ASAP thank-you-very-much. It's a strange sort of balance, being a parent. You want to take care of your children, but also want them to learn to think for themselves. You want them to go off to school to learn things, then lament the non-educational things they come home and teach you (like how to do a monkey bite). You dread telling them about the birds and the bees or smoking, but would rather they be informed than ignorant. You want to hold them close, but know you have to learn to set them free so they can grow into the person you know they can be.

It is amazing how much we can love, and loathe, our children at the same time. How they can make us cry, or laugh, or smile, by sometimes just a simple glance. So I'm going to miss Meg and Drew for the rest of today, and look forward to their arrival home tomorrow. And then I'm sure they'll be home for a few minutes and I'll be searching around for my duct tape.

7 comments:

Jill said...

I know exactly what you mean. My boys were just gone for a few days with my mom and while I enjoyed being able to sleep in a little, I missed having to go pick them up from "school" and the little talks my three year old and I have in the car, and cuddling with my baby and seeing that big smile... But they are back now and I can hug them and squeeze them and call them George all I want. Yours will be home soon, too. Just enjoy your little break and know that they are missing you too :-)

AndreAnna said...

OH YES!!

I can't wait for a break and as soon as I get one, I'm like WTF am I going to do now?

Astarte said...

HA!!! 'Love and loathe' is it EXACTLY. I want to kill them both at the moment, but yet tonight at bedtime when I kiss the little one goodnight, or when I see Josie being all nice with her baby cousin, I could just snuggle them the rest of the day. Sigh. Little brats, I love 'em.

When Patrick starts Kindergarten next week, I will cry all the way to Starbucks.

Thia said...

Heyyyy, I never thought of chloroform! Thanks. (j/k of course)

creative kerfuffle said...

ditto your post and what everyone else said. when one of the kids is out of the house i'm just not right. i resist the urge to call and check on them and going to bed at night without everyone under the same roof is just wrong. god help me when they leave the nest.

heather... said...

I can't wait to miss Maddie!!! Ha. It would be nice to have a night away every now and then. But at the same time, yeah, you sure do miss them.

CassJustCurious said...

I thought those feelings would take years, or at least months to set in but it's just weeks.

When it's just me and Lexi and she is screaming her head off I can not wait for my Mother in Law to get here to hold her...but then when she gets here I just want to be around for Lexi. Twisted cycle.