Thursday, July 22, 2010

Twenty Years? Really?

I made a last minute decision to attend my 20th high school reunion this Saturday night. Twenty years. It's a prospect that both thrills me and makes me want to curl in the fetal position and suck my thumb. I originally replied "no" to the Facebook invite. Doug and I attended our 10th back when I was pregnant with Meg. We see people here and there; after all we did live for 4 years in the town we grew up in and not everyone ran screaming for the hills and moved away. My father routinely makes fun of me for coming back to Maine because when I left for college in New York I swore I was never coming home.

High school was, for me, a difficult time. I was smart. I played in the band. I was always an outsider, even within my own group of friends. I cared what people thought of me and took it very hard that I was never well liked. I was happy to leave high school and its issues behind.  You know, until I met, fell in love with and eventually married a boy from the football team. Ahem.

So the reunion just didn't have any pull for me, even though some of my old friends were going to be there and I hadn't seen them in many years. I got a disappointed email from one of my oldest friends (we met in 7th grade) expressing disappointment that I wasn't on the guest list. I can't remember the last time I saw him and I felt really bad saying we weren't coming. Doug could care less whether we go or not. He doesn't care one lick about what people think of him. He is perfectly content with who he is and what he has in life. (Did I just say "one lick"?) I would give my kingdom for a sliver of his attitude.

Monday I got an email from my friend Brooke saying she was contemplating coming to the reunion and was I going. I said no, but as we chatted back and forth on Monday I felt like I should go. We weren't close in high school but she was always nice to me and we've become better friends through our blogs. I haven't seen her since our graduation. I arranged a babysitter for Saturday night and voila~Doug and I are attending the reunion. Brooke will be there as well and I am beyond excited to see her again.

I can honestly say that I am horribly nervous for this reunion. I am not good with large groups now that I spend 95% of my time at home with my kids. Most people that we have seen don't recognize me at all, but everyone knows Doug. I am glad he's going with me because I'm pretty certain I wouldn't go alone. If this were my college reunion, I'd have no problem packing up and heading to New York, solo. I loved college and if my friends (I'm looking at you Nettie) would consider attending a reunion one of these years I would be there with bells on even though it always conflicts with my wedding anniversary. Bells. On. This reunion causes me to revert to my 14 to 17 year old self and I don't want that. I want to have fun. So I will.


AndreAnna said...

Xanax. That's my final answer.

LoriD said...

It will be fine. We went to my hs reunion last fall. I was looking forward to it, because I hadn't seen a lot of those people since I left. We had a great time (I am still very close with 4 of my high school friends and we all went together). People who were jerks in high school had completely mellowed and seemed genuinely happy to catch up. I had much more fun than I expected.

mommy in a small town said...

I have no idea what high school reunions might be like. (I've only been out of high school 6 years.) But you perfectly described how I felt about high school! & I was in the band too. :)

creative kerfuffle said...

i think i would like to go to a high school reunion. good god, if we had one this yr it would be my 24th reunion. sheesh. ahem. but, i went to a dept. of defense school since my dad was in the army and their reunions (at least for my school) are strange. every year or so they have a "reunion" somewhere in the states and anyone who ever went to that school is invited. my bil went one year and there were people there who graduated in the 60s. so, as much as i'd like to catch up w/ people, there's never even a guarantee i'd even know anyone there.

Saly said...

Have fun!!! I know you will!

Amy @ tulipandturnip said...

You'll have fun (after a drink or two!) I had a great time at our 10-year, and I really didn't think I would.

P.S. If you'd like, I'd love to be FB friends: Amy Goodyear Chermela!! I'll take all the support from other moms that I can get!

Auntie Nettie said...

Organized College reunions -- NO. Informal college reunions -- YES!

But let's talk timing ... we have 18+ months to rope Kari into that big trip. Time's a ticking.

Why are all the h.s. reunions being planned on Facebook? WHY!!!!

Life As I Know It said...

I just got an invitation to my 20 year, and I am really not wanting to go...although everyone is telling me I should.
Who wants to revisit high school?!?

Brooke Brown said...

So, so, so, so, so, so, so glad all 3 of us (me, you, doug) went!! LOVED hanging at your house, getting to know your kiddos, meeting Doug, and getting to give you a super hug after all this emailing back and forth. such an awesome night!! xoxo