Letters

It's been awhile since I've done some Open Letters. This should be fun.

Dear Annie:

I love your hugs. They are truly the loveliest hugs in the world. What I do not love though, is your insistence that you are the boss of this house. It's dinnertime when I tell you to get in your seat, not when you feel like it.  When I tell you to put on your shoes so that we can get Meg to the bus on time, it's not a negotiation. As you've seen, Mama will just throw you in your seat shoeless and go about her business. Let's get on the same page here and make everyone happy, ok?

Love, your tired, overworked and very underpaid Mama

Dear Izzie:

You are a great snuggler. I love it when you curl up in my arms and coo. What I do not love is your insistence on breaking things~your bed, toys, books, crayons. You will end up with nowhere to sleep, nothing to play with and nothing to read or color. Do you really want to challenge me on that? Where are your blocks? Oh yes, in the garage, taken away due to your inability to treat them nicely. Let's get on the same page here and make everyone happy, ok?

Love, your tired, overworked and very underpaid Mama

Dear Drew:

You can be the sweetest, most loving little boy a Mama has ever known. I love that Drew with all my heart. What I do not love is the Drew who throws toys at me and his sisters, who hits, who screams "I hate you Mama" at the drop of a hat and who is generally irritable from sun up until sundown. That Drew can find a short pier and take a long walk. Bring back the good boy that I love, ok?

Love, your tired, overworked and very underpaid Mama

Dear Meg:

You will always be my little girl even if you are getting closer every day to being as tall as me. I love you to the moon and back. But for the love of coffee (and Mama loves her coffee), could you please please please stop acting like a baby every time I ask you to do something or you don't get exactly what you want the veryminuteyouaskforit? Your crying and carrying on is enough to make me go postal and quite honestly, that takes too much energy. You are such a smart kid, so let's get on the same page and make everyone happy, ok?

Love, your tired, overworked and very underpaid Mama

Dear Sheldon:

No more nights away from the house ok? Your big kids were so worried about you and I can't deal with all the crying and carrying on because you've disappeared into the woods where the coyotes live. So remember not to piss off the hands that feed you and come in at night.

Love, yo Mama