I have a pumpkin spice candle burning in the kitchen right now. I only burn candles in the fall and winter. We had the air conditioners on all day today. It's been hot and humid. But tonight, the humidity broke and I opened the windows and we breathed in some fresh air. I am hoping we've seen the last of the humidity and Fall really is on its way.
For me, Fall is the best season. Yes, I know Spring is all about renewal and rebirth and flowers and all that good stuff, but there is something about Fall that transcends that for me. I suppose that my hatred of heat and humidity has something to do with that. But it's also the crispness in the air, the falling leaves, and the ability to walk around without roasting that I love. Fall also makes me tense. It's the season where I try to do too much and be everything to everyone. It's the season that brings Halloween, Thanksgiving, then Christmas, and the onset of my kids' birthdays. While I love all those things, I also dread them because I hype them up in my mind to the point that everything is a disappointment. I don't know why I do this to myself. I want perfect photo opportunities that never happen, I want the food I make to turn out "just so" and when that doesn't happen, I get frustrated. I am not one to just take it all in and enjoy the day or the event as it unfolds. I try to make everyone happy, but I end up being miserable. Does this make sense?
I don't know why this happens to me in Fall. I think it happens partially because I've always loved the holidays in the fall and want to recreate the warmth of those events for my family (and don't get me started on how ridiculously perfect I try to make Christmas). I want the kids to love those events or trips we take to pick pumpkins or apples and when they don't, I'm disappointed. I am hoping that this Fall I can take a step back and appreciate what my family does see in Fall, and maybe not make it all about what I see in it. It would be great to just enjoy the season and my kids and relax a little. Maybe for me Fall can be about letting go of some expectations.