Super Nanny, Mary Poppins, Someone?

Let me start by saying that I love my children. Very much. But holy cow do they wear me down. Take yesterday for instance. The twins morning nap was short. Very short. They woke up irritable. Drew woke up on the wrong side of his bed and was just a total pain all morning long. Refused to play on his own. Wanted a gazillion snacks. Refused to eat his lunch. Needed. A. Nap. Refused to take a nap. The twins afternoon nap was good, once they finally stopped pooping and settled down to sleep. Meg came home with a friend for a playdate. One would think (that one being me of course) that a playdate means that children will play. Together. Nicely. For more than one minute. Good lord. Drew wanted to play with the girls. Meg didn't want him to play with them. Much screaming from Drew who couldn't be consoled. He had his Brady bear (Patriots Build-A-Bear) and just wanted his sister to love him enough to let him join in. Nope, not happening. I counted down the minutes until the playdate ended. The hour ticked by so slowly it was ridiculous. Where was Super Nanny or Mary Poppins when I needed her?

I am not a patient person. I dream of being a patient person. So when my kids are screaming, running up and down the hallway, throwing toys, being rude, etc. I have a hard time being patient. And that's where Super Nanny Jo Frost or Mary Poppins is needed. I need someone with a calmer voice, calmer countenance, to step in during those moments of insanity and take over. Because seriously, I cannot handle it. I know that yelling doesn't make things easier/better/right, but come on, when I cannot be heard over all the noise, what the heck am I supposed to do? My sister-in-law Tami would be perfect for the job. Too bad she's a teacher and has two teenagers of her own to deal with. Or I would kidnap her and keep her here. When the kids are acting up, she has this way of talking to them that mesmerizes them. And they stop. And they listen. And they are compliant. I don't have that way with them. I'm the mean mommy who makes them clean up their messes, who doesn't let them eat candy for morning snack, who doesn't let them watch tv all day. So if Mary Poppins or Super Nanny is nearby, would you send her my way? I think I could use a little help. Or maybe I just need to grow more arms.