Tuesday, March 18, 2008


I have to thank Amy for today's blog idea. I actually didn't know what I wanted to blog about, but her post got me thinking.

I think parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done. I've been a SAHM for a little over 3 years now, and I worked outside the home for 4 years before that (when I only had 1 child). I don't think you can compare the two; it's like comparing apples and oranges. Each has its own set of unique circumstances, and there is no way I can say one is better than the other. But parenting itself is just a difficult job all its own.

Parenting is hard. Anyone who says that parenting their children is all sunshine, rainbows and ponies really needs to stop trying to impress everyone else with their parenting skills. I'll say it. Parenting sucks sometimes. Like those days when the kids start bickering at the breakfast table at 7:15, and the babies dump their bottles all over the trays and no one will cooperate with getting dressed. Those are the days when my Type AAAAAAA personality kicks in and I yell. I know, I should just relax and go with the flow. But really, when I have 4 kids to get down to the bus stop at 8 am and everyone is crying and screaming, why on earth would I just smile and go with it? And why would I pretend to the rest of the world that it's all good? So that I look good to some other mother? Forget it. I actually don't care what people think of me. Oh, I used to care what people thought of me. I used to care an awful lot. But then I realized that I am doing my best (most days) and that if someone thinks they can do better, just give me a shout out.

Since when did raising our children become some sort of competition? Why is it so hard to admit to another mother that parenting is hard? Oh yes, I'm sure that I've been guilty of glossing over the tough times so that I don't sound like I'm complaining. But then there are the days when I count the hours until the kids go to bed and I don't care who knows.

Please, don't get me wrong. I love my children. I would do anything for my children. I love their kisses, hugs, funny looks, silly sayings. But being their Mama is challenging and I will be the first to admit it.


Sam said...

I am so with you. I would kill to be you and be able to be a SAHM, but at the same time I don't know how you do it...and I only have one child. But when you talk about trying to impress others, oh, I always feel like I have to impress my MIL and I'm so Intimidated by her. I know I shouldn't care, but she's one of the only people that have never told me that I was doing a good job.
Oh well!!!!

Mommy Brain said...

I hate the "mommy wars" too. One of my favorite things about the blog world is that people are more likely to be honest in this fairly faceless medium. I meet lots of mommy bloggers who are up front about not being perfect. Whereas it's a lot less common in real life (outside of my twins club) for mothers to tell me how hard everything is.

moosh in indy. said...

Hi. I'll be second to admit it.
And I only have one.

AndreAnna said...

I think there's be something wrong with all of us if we found this "mommy" thing easy.

And I'm so with you on the ending the wars, but women tend to be insecure in a lot of aspects, which in my opinion, leads to being attacking and judgmental.

I try my damndest to never think for one second that someone else has it easier than me, or harder for that matter. That we're all int this together - worrying, hoping, loving - and trying our best to be good parents.

Amy said...

Sing it, sister.